I have to confess to being a Singapore lover. It is uncool I know. And people tell me I have swallowed all the propaganda and that I have the benefit of living in Hong Kong, which increasingly makes Singapore look good. It looks good to me because, simply, they sign contracts and give you money. Whereas Hong Kong has never really gone in for that equation too much. In Hong Kong people prefer the you give me money and I bugger off with it model of economics.
Which is why I haven't bought any property in Hong Kong, though people tell me that there is money to be made in that. Even the people who cannot sell their property tell me that it is a good buy, despite it being several square feet smaller than the floor plan says... and on a floor that does not exist... and even in buildings where the owners boosted the prices with false bids from non-existence bidders! Not to worry, the government is onto the scam now. Someone must have defaulted on their backhanders. I guess economic depressions do serve a real function after all.
I digress, and could do so forever. And as an immigrant one is always in danger of being told that if one dislikes Hong Kong so much why not go home? Which supposes that when one complains about idiocy, one is not enjoying the pleasure of witnessing it. On the contrary it is the idiocy that makes Hong Kong such a hot and racy place to live. Whereas Singapore, so I am regularly told though not convincingly, is dull. I guess it is dull because it behaves itself, sort of. Despite having a remarkably well organised sex industry and a government that wants to make movies and reality TV about fat people.
I digress yet again. I blame Los Angeles for being in the most awkward time zone in the universe and their office hours being when I should be tucked up in bed instead of waiting to call them and amusing myself writing this. (Hey, I'm a screenwriter! Now and then I gotta call LaLa Land.)
Given Singapore's predilection for developing a strong media industry, I can not but help liking the place. So I am off there this week to teach a course rather dully entitled "Writing to a Client's Brief." It is a very Singaporean sort of course, where one impresses upon the creative thinker the facts of life, that is, that scriptwriters cannot just write anything they want... Unless they have the sponduliks to pay for it all. In which case they can do anything they like. But for the rest of us mortals, The Man always calls the tune.
My own take on this course could perhaps re-title it, Sticking It To The Man, And Still Getting Paid! Which roughly means that I explain how the briefing process is a two way street and how a producer is part of a maze of influences that writers have to negotiate.
So there you have it. I'll be in Singapore for nine days bringing another generation of rivals into existence. I am never sure whether it is a good thing to encourage others to write and make movies. It is a shockingly oversubscribed vocation and for the most part requires the sort of hard work, dedication and sacrifice leading the free world or curing cancer demands, with the only possible outcome being a few hours distraction on one otherwise unoccupied evening. And very little thanks for most people involved, as nobody reads the credits and everyone is suing each other or threatening to because they expected somewhat more money for their efforts. And that's the successful ones.
But one becomes an artist because one is a troubled soul and requires the rest of the world to applaud and make it better. It is also probably far more sensible than becoming a political leader, who usually are even more troubled souls, as it gets you into far less trouble, and if you cure everything from genital warts to old age, there will still be something else equally disgusting to worry about... Like what to do with one's credit card on a Saturday night when one wants to avoid going out and getting drunk.
In short, the world needs stupid movies. And probably needs them more than any other kind. I shall thus try my best to encourage as much nonsense as possible.